Quit Smoking: An Other Resolution

Quit Smoking:
An Other Resolution

by Terry White

     At this writing, 12-28-2010, Saturday is New Years, and for some, a resolution to quit smoking. Having failed that task myself, I approach this topic with some experience. Little of it, in candor, an earnest effort on my part.

     It wasn't that I didn't want, or couldn't quit, I just needed a compelling reason. Something robust enough to dismiss the excuses that make smoking seem, reasonable. For lack of a better term. During this festive season, some years ago, I found one, and over the period of a day, I quit. As it turned out, I got sick, and "got" to experience suffocation.

     I did 'NOT' like that at all, and would characterize it as being scared "shitless". That, was a "significant" asset, offering a rationale I simply could not ignore. That episode a sharp memory for several days, and convenient, as the physical 'want' for tobacco only lasts a few days.

     "Lasts a few days", and the difficulty quitting, are not an intuitive association. The physical withdrawal does not merit that difficulty, so it's not physical, as much as, a 'habit'. Google says of habit: "(psychology) an automatic pattern of behavior in reaction to a specific situation". And automatic: "without volition or conscious control". As a happy irony, those very elements provide a means to quitting.

     On the surface of it, smoking a 'thoughtless' activity. I've had two cigarettes going at one time, which suggests preoccupation on my part. Seldom have I smoked, as a solitary, joy-of-smoking activity. However, for me, smoking was a friend. There through great times, devastating life changes, and never wavered in its ability to comfort. Giving that up, not without loss.

     As I mentioned, I wanted to quit, and wondered what I was getting from smoking; something physical I'd been unable to describe. The day I quit, smoking "felt", what "looked" like Frankenstein's electric gizmo, in the middle of my chest. As opposed to having "puked" the very first time. It seemed fitting. I was satisfied there some tangible physical reaction, whatever it might have been.

     Quitting smoking, is a process. Patches, cold-turkey, electric cigarettes, appliances toward that end. I knew these would fail, because they failed to address the real issue. "Stress". Put simply, 'Stress' was the problem, and smoking the 'symptom'. While not rocket science, but widely known, its importance, and scope, ignored with careless abandon. For instance, really 'good' news, can be as stressful as really 'bad' news.

     Living is a 'stress-full' activity on its own, and then there's people with which to deal. Calming, reasonably joyous people, don't seem to be a statistical majority. There are friends and family, that won't come around, or go away. Others proving their wants alone, merit consideration. And worse.

     Cranky old farts like me, have ('had') been smoking for decades. Life was good. 'Smokers' got to smoke, tons of money made, tax coffers pregnant with cash. Marketing, and "chemistry" made smoking a 'National' icon of everything Red-White-and-Blue. Between Big-Business and Government, smokers were fucked with seismic vigor.

     But then, it gets worse. Legitimate health concerns enter the popular psyche, and 'smokers' are "BLAMED" for doing what they'd been encouraged to do. Vilified as worthless 'human beings' with a "FILTHY" habit, often expressed with gleeful loathing. In full circle fashion, fewer smokers face punitive taxation, as a sin no less. And while they're at it, imposing absurd pricing.

     As a psychological landscape, it's hard to imagine a smoker not having some reaction to that. The saving grace, is that it's an external source of stress, and hopefully, not closely local. And then there's 'Sharing the Great Outdoors', with like minded people. However, even that isolation insufficient to satisfy some. I hazard the opinion, smokers not alone in having issues. Anyway.

     Here, I'm making the case, that psychological factors fuel the "need" to smoke, and dwarf any other element in quitting. For some, that may be news, for others, "Not'sa much". It's been my experience, that "some things so obvious, they become invisible". While smoking not invisible, without inspection, what sustains it, "IS".

     Goes like this. 1:Think something. 2:Feel badly. 3:Smoke.
Habit, is the ability to ignore the first two things, and do the last.

     The process is this: "Turn the Habit , into a Decision".

     "Thoughts are things", is fundamental to this discussion. In particular, do you 'think' you want to quit smoking. Without the 'want', you're wasting your time. This "want" is not required to be anything more than serious. You will question it in this process.

     Just for grins, let's assume, you haven't had anything to smoke since you decided to quit. At some point, the urge to smoke is going to show up. When it does, if you make it a 'practice' to ask yourself, "What was I thinking just then", you accomplish two things.

     First, you interrupt the mechanics, or 'flow' of the habit, by paying attention to its impetus, i.e., the cause of stress. After that, if you smoke, it's a deliberate decision, rather than a result of the habit.

     Finally, and long term more importantly, you will start to see a pattern of thought. This pattern, will find general application, but will depend on rather specific elements. This is absolutely predictable, because, smoking is ideally suited as a 'substitute' for uncomfortable emotional responses. This is 'fear' based, and requires that you "think" what you're going to 'feel', beyond your emotional stature.

     When successful, you're not smoking any more, but are 'now' aware of some crappy feelings. The worst case, feel what you feel, and do nothing about it. Or, use what you've learned to your advantage. You have, a body of knowledge about 'your' thoughts and opinions. Ultimately, "your" opinion of you, the only one, over which you have command.

     "Knowledge is Power". Knowing more about yourself, betters your chance of getting what you want. No guarantees, but hiding from the 'truth' ultimately fails. Before, what you thought of you hidden, now it's at your disposal. Not immediately obvious, is the fact that, your hidden thoughts of you, ""ASSUMED"" accurate. Might not be.

     What if your opinion of you, failed to do you 'justice'. What if you're better than you'd thought, but not as good as you'd like to be. You have a choice; accept you as you are, or make the changes you think you require. Either way, you've the comfort of knowing you for you, and not having to hide you, from "you". Clue: Only good people, worry about not being good enough. Those that aren't, don't care.

     After I'd quit, there were transient 'thoughts' that introduced the urge for a cigarette. One was, "You can't do that.", which I knew to be false, as I remembered having done 'it'. This a clear indication, that 'questioning' my thinking about me, necessary, for the sake of accuracy if nothing else. I held an 'opinion' of me, that failed to accurately describe the situation. I was lying to me, about me. "Own worst enemy", comes to mind.

     Opinion, taken as fact, without inspection, an intellectual abyss, and usually a cherished, and convenient 'fallacy'. I hazard the 'opinion', that few deserve the low opinions they have of themselves, while, hiding from, and defending them, as sacrosanct, treasure. Many often fail to realize, the "truth" of a matter, less painful than, the 'fear' of its discovery. An acrid illusion.

     If, none of this 'rings a bell', that's a good thing to know.

     If it does, you might see it as a bleak situation. "Well yeah". Expecting anything else, naive. I have no reason to think people start, or continue to smoke, because life's everything it can be. Smoking is a "coping mechanism", to expect a 'sterile' process in dealing with it, a delusion. It's the cost of doing business, the business of personal reorganization, change. Often, major change the function of, a 'slight' shift in perspective.

     Theoretically, and your mileage will vary, thought by thought, you'll come to know yourself. You may encounter stuff about which you rightfully feel shame, and much more, about which pride in order. After the "INSULT" of not being 'perfect' passes, and forgiving yourself for being a 'human being', self imposed stress will naturally abate. You gain the advantage of being independent of, the "Good Opinion of Others" (not my quote), and the stress that implies.

     You, as victim of statistical probability, will also 'gain' weight. I went from 185 lbs. to 219. I thought Cortisol the problem, however, stress and subsequent 'emotional eating', much more likely. In addition, the 'oral' fixation no small factor. For a while, eating takes smoking's place, but can be managed much the same way. A general willingness to pay attention, has netted 7 lb. loss. Slow but steady works too.

     Slow but steady works.

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